~By sister initiate Pham Thi Lan,
Warsaw, Poland
(Originally in Aulacese)

About two years ago, I was presumably at the end of life's tunnel and thought that my existence on Earth would end. However, I would like to briefly tell you about my fate prior to stepping into this tunnel.

At the beginning of 1981, I was hospitalized in order to have two-thirds of my stomach removed due to a serious ulcer. Unfortunately, the infection in my stomach was so critical that it threatened my life, and I felt like it was "being hung from a tiny thread." It was incomprehensible that I was still alive, considering my emaciated body and critical ulcer. After that time, the ulcer constantly remained with me. I went to many hospitals to find and meet many Western and Oriental medical practitioners, as well as many well-known domestic herbalists. I had used a great variety of pills and thousands of herbal prescriptions, only to find that none of them could completely cure my ulcer. Therefore, my family and I lived in continuous poverty, worry, and misery.

At the end of 1992, I went overseas to seek a change in my living environment, in the hope that it would improve my condition. Despite the geographical change, however, fate remained fate. Many nights, my husband and I were unable to sleep due to the suffering I was experiencing. The excruciating pain caused by the ulcer made me writhe to the point of exhaustion. My husband tried his best to help relieve my pain, but to no avail. I felt that I could not be a truly dutiful child, wife, and mother, much less a helpful citizen in society.

On many a night, I prayed to God and the Buddha to mercifully let me soon return to dust. I had suggested to my husband that he buy me an airline ticket to our homeland so that I could return there and die. It was meant to be that at moment I was in the hopeless situation of a person who was sinking more deeply day by day into the abyss, with no possible hope of salvation from anyone. However, at the same moment, by coincidence or by Nature's arrangement, I was given a copy of Master's News magazine and Her book entitled "The Key of Immediate Enlightenment, One Life Liberation." The book seemed to have an invisible power that strongly attracted me.

After reading Master's book, I immediately recited Her name when the pain arose in my stomach. Miraculously, I felt an immediate and wonderful result. The excruciating pain that was seemingly due to someone rubbing salt in my wound or pulling my intestines away began to subside gradually and gently, as I only needed to quietly recite Her name. I felt and experienced a wonderful movement inside of me. Likewise, on subsequent days, each time the pain arose I began to recite Her name day and night and found that my suffering slowly vanished. My body had experienced a great many kinds of medication, but I had never known any that was this effective. It was 100% true. I only needed to sincerely recite Master's name to immediately realize that all the things that I had earnestly dreamed about without achieving were within Her!

Even during childhood and adolescence, and before entering college, I had longed for a teacher of perfect virtue and beauty who could guide me and answer all the questions arising from my life. But, I was unable to find such a teacher.

Now, I have found the mentor who represents the fulfillment of all my longings. Moreover, I also feel that my poor little soul has found its eternal destiny. It is Your infinite compassion that has liberated me forever from the confining, mundane world. Like a wave that meets the ocean, like a long lost child that reunites with her beloved Mother, my heart at last feels a great and indescribable joy. I wrote the little poem below to express the delight and changes I have experienced:

 

My soul had traveled over every desolate land,

And as the rain stopped,

A drought seemed to last a thousand years.

Then You brought pouring rains and thunder all of a sudden,

To shower over my soul for the seed to take root among stones.

 

I have had a true rebirth in reliving each day through Master's tapes and books. In retrospect, during previous days, my tears seemed to dry up from my moaning over my fate. Now, I realize that it was because of ignorance that I had to live through sorrow and pain. Master showed me the sources of my suffering and how to escape from them. Her teachings, which I had never heard from anyone before, are completely in tune with my soul. Master has said that most accidents, disease, wars, and natural disasters are products of an atmosphere of hatred caused by killing. Master awakened me through one of Her videotapes by saying, "To substitute a few pieces of meat in a bowl of noodles with a few pieces of tofu is not that difficult. Why should one eat the flesh and bones of sentient beings only to later repay the blood borrowed with one's own blood? If we don't want anyone to cut and slash away our own skin and flesh, then why should we do that to others, whom we know so well, so that it causes them so much suffering?"

Upon listening to this, I got goose bumps all over my body and was greatly regretful for having committed so many sins in my treatment of loveable animals. I considered getting into action quickly in order to compensate for my past wrongdoing. I decided to become a vegetarian at any price, and vowed not to eat meat anymore.

Since becoming vegetarian, I have felt gradually uplifted and all my sorrows have slowly departed. Prior to practicing the Quan Yin Method of Meditation, I was already quietly being taken care of by Master, although I had just begun following a vegetarian diet. In many dreams (including my daughter's) Master came to teach and comfort me in different ways. On one occasion, She came to my bed to draw a picture of a lake and blooming lotus for me to look at. I will never forget that moment viewing the drawing by Her side. I dreamed of Her in different forms and shapes of great beauty and gracefulness. She rubbed my head, held my hand and hugged me to bestow on me a love of the warmest and sweetest kind. After practicing the Quan Yin Method, my life has changed completely. All the chains binding me to this life seem to have fallen away. I feel as if a thousand pound burden has been cast from my shoulders. Master takes care of my family in both physical and metaphysical ways, in both its spiritual and material life. She has given my family things both large and small. There are hurdles that without practicing the Quan Yin Method, we surely would not have been able to overcome. My daily longings are all fulfilled by Her, and there seem to be wonderful arrangements, which are only experienced by me, and can not be expressed in writing.

One's outer experiences can not be completely told, even if they are paid attention to. And inner experiences can not be transcribed into words at all, as fellow initiates already know. Once, in a state of samadhi, I saw many thousands of tiny moving stars appear before my wisdom eye. They looked like they were on the surface of a screen or net at first, then turned into a funnel shape with a smaller end stretching to infinity. It was a mass of millions, billions, or trillions of sparkling stars. I was flying in that sky full of stars having a mild sensation of extreme comfort.

In the dreams I normally had after early morning meditation, Master guided me to fly to skies that had both moon and stars. Beneath me was a whole world in fresh green that made me feel very comfortable and joyful while flying.

At one time, I dreamed of invisible beings who had come to disturb me and make me feel miserable, and screamed out loudly without being able to sleep. I felt very uncomfortable, began to sob, and then got up to meditate. After meditation, I felt so tired that I fell half asleep, and again Master guided me, this time to fly to a place where there were big earthly trees. I did not know where it was. Master held me tightly in Her arms and wept over Her great love for me. I also hugged Her and burst into tears. While holding Her, I was able to utter these words from the bottom of my heart: "I love You very much."

At that moment, I also smelled a fresh scent being emitted from Her body, a magnificent scent that was indescribable. As I tried to open my eyes more widely to have a good look at Her, She had already gone, leaving me completely stunned. Upon awakening, I found myself in the position I had been in when I was hugging Her, and Her scent was still lingering around me. I still did not believe then that it was only a dream. A sense of boundless love overwhelmed both my soul and body when I was at Her side.

Although I am a beginner in meditation, each day our compassionate Master brings me the enormous bliss of Heavenly Sound and Light. Although I have only recently set foot on the threshold of the spiritual Path, I have already been overwhelmingly impressed by the infinite attraction of this grove of wealth and mystery. The material enjoyments of this world, the joys of status or monetary gain, are incomparable to the bliss brought about by the Quan Yin Method, which nourishes my spirit so that I can become more and more peaceful and contented.