Spoken by the Supreme Master Ching Hai
at the Tien Shan Center, Hong Kong, on April 3-4, 1994.
(Originally in Chinese)
There is a story called "The Clever Dog". How was it clever? Once there was this family with a dog. One day they invited a guest to dinner. When the guest arrived, the dog did not say a word. It didn't bark, nor bite. However, when the guest was having dinner with the family, the dog kept staring at him. It was also growling, not very loud, but it sounded very angry. It kept fixing its stare at the guest and growling at him nonstop. The guest was feeling very nervous. His heart was beating hard, and he kept looking back at the dog. The man and the dog were staring at each other, until the man could no longer stand it. He said to his host and the family, "Why, your dog looks so vicious!" Before the host could utter a reply, the little girl named Shiao-Ling said, "I don't think so! Normally it is not that violent! It is behaving like this because you are using its bowl!"
She was only a little kid, who knew nothing about human affairs, so she just told the truth! Do you understand?
There was a small child who had a dog. One day the dog got lost; no one knew where it went. The child cried his heart out. Everyday, he would cry and tell his mother, "My Mimi ran away! My Mimi ran away!" Then his mother told him, "It's alright, my child. It's alright! Your daddy has already put an ad in the newspaper. Very soon Mimi will come back and you'll be together again!" But the child cried even louder: "How will Mimi come back to me? Mimi can't read the newspaper!" (Master and everyone laughed.) It didn't recognize any Chinese characters, how could it read Chinese newspaper?
There was a thief who went to a very out- standing looking mansion to steal something. Outside of the mansion, there was a sign with a picture of a dog's head which said, "MEAN DOG INSIDE, PLEASE KEEP OUT!" You know that?! Most of the rich people do this; they hang a sign with a picture of a dog's head and claim that there is a mean dog inside. It is just to scare people away so they don't come inside to steal things.
But the thief went inside and stole all the things he wanted. After he put them all in a bag and was on his way out, the thief added something under the sign. It said, "That dog was very gentle. Don't misjudge it." (Master and everyone laughed.)
This story happened in Au Lac, or over in Kuangtong, as people there like eating dog's meat. I don't know whether that is true or not, but the story is very funny.
Once there was a man who went around selling dog's meat. Normally, in those areas, people carry a shouldering pole, hawking by the roadside. What I meant was, they carry things on their shoulders, and then go around selling them, trying to attract customers. Just like the people selling meat dumplings, buns, things like that. They travel about everywhere, yelling at the tops of their voices. People who eat these things know what they are yelling about. Sometimes I don't understand what they are saying, but all their customers do.
So this man carried a shouldering pole, with dog's meat on both ends. He went about everywhere, shouting, "Who's... dog..." (Master and the crowd laughed.) What he meant was, "Who wants dog's meat? Any one wants dog's meat?" But when he was hawking, he said, "Who's... dog..." (Master and the crowd laughed.) And so he travelled everywhere, hawked along everywhere. After he had been yelling for half an hour, suddenly someone said, "Hey! Dog, Dog, Dog, come here Dog!" (Master and the crowd laughed.)
He could not work out where the customer was. He kept looking at all directions, but still he could see no one, so he just said, "Where's... dog!" (Master and the crowd laughed.) As there was no answer, he said, "Where's... dog?" (Master and the crowed laughed.) I wonder if they could decide, after having eventually met with each other, who was a dog and who was not a dog, or perhaps they were both dogs.
Sometimes when we speak, we tend to be like this, our speech seems incongruous. Sometimes it sounds rather lovable, or funny, or rude. So be more careful when you speak!
Oh! These are all stories for the children. There was a new marine, you know, like a soldier. He went to report to the Navy headquarters and enlisted himself to be in the Navy. After they examined him the Commander said, "Your qualifications are good enough, but can you swim?" The new marine was horrified and asked the Commander, "How come? Don't you have ships?" (Master and everyone laughed.)
This story is called "The Shortsighted Teacher". Do you know what having shortsightedness is? It's that kind of person who, like me, has big eyes, but cannot see properly (Master and the crowd laughed). We use our wisdom eyes. Once there was a teacher or a professor. One day he was taking this history class. As soon as he stepped in everyone stood up to salute him, to show their respect, and to greet him. After the salutation, everyone sat down. Everyone was sitting quietly, except for one person, who kept going about his own business at the window. A while later, when the teacher or professor could no longer stand it, he asked, "Hey! Do you know when Mao Tse Tung died?" (Master laughed.) Just an example! For example! OK, leave it alone. Let's not talk about Mao Tse Tung. Let's talk about -- Mao Tse Hsi! (Master and the crowd laughed.) If we talked about Mao Tse Tung, people would think that I talked about politics, and would, again, bring me trouble.
The teacher asked the person by the window, who was neither standing up nor sitting down, but was stirring things about, and was disturbing the class very much, "Do you know when Mao Tse Hsi died?" He asked a question about history. The man replied, "I don't know." The teacher said, "Why! Such a little thing and you don't know? I'll ask you another question, 'When did the Japanese withdraw from China?'" The man said, "I don't know that either! How would I know such things!" The teacher said, "Are you kidding? What did you do yesterday? Why didn't you do your homework?"
Then that person who was messing about by the window said, "Why! Last night I was at the movies. After the movie, I went home and had a few drinks with my brother next door! Then I went home and slept with my girlfriend!" And then this professor, wow, he became very, very angry. He was so furious that he could have died. He pounded on his desk, making a loud bang, and then he said, "Shame on you! What kind of student are you? What are you doing here then?" (The crowd laughed.) The man replied, "I came to repair this window! I am the carpenter!" (The crowd laughed.)
This happened at the time of Confucious. One day, Confucious was passing through a place and saw an old woman sitting by five graves, crying very hard. Confucious ask, "What happened? What is the matter with you? Why are you crying so hard? Who is that in the five graves?" The old woman cried even louder and said, "All five members of my family were killed by tigers. I have just buried them; that is why I am crying here! Now I am all by myself and I am very lonely." Then Confucious said: "Why don't you move to the city and live with other people? Isn't that safer? Didn't you say that the tigers here are very vicious?" She said, "Yes, yes, yes, yes! Very, very vicious! People are killed very often! Just yesterday, they killed all the turtles!" Then Confucious said: "How strange! Since the tigers here are so vicious and dangerous, why don't you move down there in the city and live with everyone else. Isn't that much safer?" The old woman shook her head, waved her hand and said: "No, no....., thank you!" Confucious said: "Why not?" She said: "Because down there has a government; it's even worse!" (Master and everyone laughed)
If someone asks me why do I live up in the mountains, where are mosquitoes, the caves are murky and dark, the houses are so small, the tent is leaking and so on..., I will say: "Down there I have disciples; it's even worse!" (Master and everyone laughed.)
The time table in hell is just like office hours; there is punishment time, resting time, etc. Once there was a man who had fallen to hell. The devils came to show him around hell, allowing him an opportunity to "shop around" to see which type of torture he'd prefer. He was given freedom of choice. So the man went about looking everywhere. But all he saw were people being sawn, burned, fried, axed, having their noses or ears cut off, etc. Everything was so horrific, and none of it could he stand.
Then they came by this place where he saw a bridge. The water under the bridge had a terrible smell, like sewage. All the prisoners just stood there immersed in the water. The water was only up to their chests and everyone was having a cup of tea! The prisoner said to himself, "Oh! This is not bad!" (The crowd laughed.) "Not bad! It doesn't matter. You just stand for a while and then you may have tea, biscuits, and blessed items. So he said, "OK! I'll stay here to endure this torture then!" (The crowd laughed.)
So he got down and stood in the water. A little while later, when he was just about to have a cup of tea, the devil said, "Resting time is over; everyone turns upside down!!"
Once there was this person who was in hell and was just about to be reincarnated. Even the King of Hell could not stand him any more (Master laughed.). If he was allowed to stay on, the King of Hell would surely go crazy, so he was looking for ways to quickly send him away.
This person was very bad, very naughty. Even though he was now free to go, he did not want to. He just wanted to, shamelessly, hang around in hell, for the King of Hell now allowed him to do anything. If he was not allowed to do what he wanted, he would throw a tantrum, make trouble and turn hell upside down. He would put all the equipment for punishing people out of service, and would not repair them, so that when they wanted to punish someone, they had no equipment..., and so on. He would wait until the devil policemen were asleep, and stick chicken feathers up their noses, so that they could not sleep even though they were dead tired. And when there was work to be done, the King of Hell could find no one, all the devils were fast asleep..., etc. Although he kept making trouble there, the King of Hell dared not let him go because his time was not up, and the King was fearful that the "Jade Emperor" might scold him.
Oh, how annoyed The King of Hell was! He had no choice but to look for excuses to send him back to the world. He sent for this man and tried to talk him into it, "Why, we've just had a meeting, all the officials, 'large and small', from the Grand Imperial Court of the King of Hell. We have decided that you have been a wonderful citizen here. (The crowd laughed.) You are very clever, sharp, and 'Huo Po' ('Full of life' in Chinese)." (Master laughed.) Everything was already "Po" ("broken", another Chinese word), so they said "Huo Po". "We feel that you are worthy of the grace from Heaven and Earth, and you may return to the human world sooner." Normally, anyone would have been happy to hear this, but not that person! (The crowd laughed.) Instead he said: "What is the big deal about going back to the human world?! It is just the same here. I can play around here too! (The crowd laughed.) Moreover, there are so many interesting tools here. There aren't any tools like these for punishing people in the human world. Where can I play then?"
The King of Hell was getting scared. He was afraid that the person would keep clinging on and did not want to leave. He said, "When you get there you will begin a human's way of life. It's dark here, so it is not as much fun. As for the tools, I can send some up to you later. (The crowd laughed.) Don't you worry, later on I will tell the ghost genius here to invent more interesting ones, and deliver them to you free of charge. Just relax and go in peace. If you need anything give me a ring, and I will help you." (The crowd laughed.) The King gave the man his fax and phone numbers, and all the secret codes, but he still did not want to go. So the ghosts, devils, small officials and large officials, all knelt down and begged (the crowd laughed), "You are so noble, and of such uncommon brilliance. If we don't see to it that you get back to the world, the 'Jade Emperor' would surely hold us responsible for burying such brilliant talent! (The crowd laughed.) Please spare us; for the sake of our existence, please go!"
He was still standing there thinking, taking his time considering! (The crowd laughed.) His beard was so long, because he had been in Hell for a very long time. His beard had grown very long. In Hell there aren't any knives suitable for shaving, only those used for chopping people, so he had grown a very long beard. He was standing there stroking his beard and thinking. As he was deciding, the King of Hell, ranking officials, the civil and military officials, "black" officials, and ghosts were all nervously waiting. They were afraid that he might stay put for another thousand years. He had done this before. One little stay and it was a full three thousand years. (The crowd laughed.) It did not look like he was ready to leave. Heaven knows what it might be like should he decide to stay. The King of Hell or the ghosts would have to suffer for a long long time.
Now they looked very nervous. They kept reciting the Five Names and prayed for the Inner Master's help. Perhaps there would be answers if they kept praying. They all say that the Supreme Master Ching Hai is very responsive. All one needs to do is to recite the Five Names and ask for Her help. Even in Hell they have heard about the name of the Supreme Master Ching Hai! (Master laughed.) They all knelt down and recited, "Namo Supreme Master Ching Hai, please send this person away quickly, or we will have to suffer here in Hell. (The crowd laughed.) We, the citizens of Hell, would not be able to endure it anymore."
Sure enough, their prayers were answered. The person suddenly said, "Alright! Alright! Seeing that you are so intense in your prayer, I will be merciful, and set you free. I will go in a minute!" Yes! Everyone was delighted. But then he said, "It's true that I am going. It's alright, but not without a few conditions. I can't just go in vain like this." The King of Hell said, "Tell us quickly! Whatever conditions they might be, we will all agree!" So the prisoner said, "I'd like, when I go up there, to be reincarnated into the most wealthy family, and I should be the only son of that family, and the highest ranking minister in the Imperial Court." He almost wanted to be the King. (The crowd laughed.) I was also very surprised that he did not want to be the King. Perhaps it requires a lot of good deeds and merits to be the king; something that is destined. But a man's destiny can be changed so that he becomes a little prime minister. It is more difficult to become a king. Perhaps it is like that. He did not ask for much. He was quite modest actually! (The crowd laughed.) It's beneficial to stay in Hell for a little while; you develop a humble spirit.
In addition, he said that, later on, his son would have to be the most successful candidate in the imperial examination. My God! He wanted everything! Then he continued, "I also want ten thousand acres of land, a large lake which is full of fish and prawns, and my land should be full of fruit trees, with a lot of exotic flowers and plants, etc. I will have a most beautiful wife, and about one thousand beautiful maids. They should all follow my wishes. Whatever I want, they will do it. No matter how crazy I am, how illogical I might be, they will all do as I say. And they should absolutely, wholeheartedly be in love with me, and will swear that they love absolutely only me. Also, my storeroom will be filled with pearls, agates, gold, diamonds, etc. All the other warehouses will be filled with rice, all sorts of grains, and all sorts of food, and nothing will be in short supply. I will hold the utmost power, and no one will be able resist me. I will enjoy life like that for one hundred years (the crowd laughed), no sickness, no misery (the crowd laughed), and when I die I will die a beautiful death." He knew that we could live only for one hundred years in this world, otherwise he would have asked for an eternity.
Then the King of Hell heaved a sigh, and said regrettably, "Look, Mister, if there were so many wonderful things in the world, I would have long been reincarnated up there!" (Master and the crowd laughed and clapped hands.) "I would take your place and be reincarnated up there." (The crowd laughed.)
We all feel that he has gone over the top. However, most people are like this. People all like it that way; it is just that they can't have it that way! Most of us are like that, aren't we? Deep inside, in our dreams, in our heart, we would all like it like that. We all wish to have no worries or sorrow, no sickness or old age, with virtuous conduct and high prestige. We would love to have a lot of money and big mansions. We would all like to be healthy, and have our children become useful and famous individuals. We would like ourselves to be happy forever, with many wives, or husbands, wouldn't we?
When we read the story, we all laugh at him, but in fact, most of us are like him, aren't we? Especially those who do not practice spiritually.
But then spiritual practitioners want it the most! Since we are unable to achieve it here, we want to go to heaven to get it. That's why we are practicing, aren't we? We practice so that we may go to the relatively happy and everlasting place, where we will have whatever we desire. Do you understand? However, when we reach that level of existence, we will not want anything any more, because everything is so abundant there.
For example, now that you come here, every day you meditate when you want to, eat when it is time to eat, and go to sleep when it is time to sleep. What else is there that you want? Is that not so? At home sometimes you don't have time to eat, then you worry. Then you want to find time to eat, or find time to meditate. When you come here for three days, or seven days, you feel so contended. You lack nothing, and you do not think that you want this or that, do you? (The crowd reply: No.) It's because we don't have them here in this world that we want them. Once we are in heaven, we don't want them any more. That's why we call that place nirvana. Nirvana means without any desire; No wish, No passion, No want, or the place where you desire nothing. Why desire nothing? Because we already have everything. Do you understand?